Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Hair Color

Scene: Sunday night dinner.  Around the dining room table.
Players: The whole clan is in attendance.
Background: Berserk Father and Beautiful Wife are chatting with Little Berserker Spawn about colors.  When LBS was first learning colors, myself and BW would talk about our eye colors a lot.  LBS has green eyes just like me.

Berserk Father: Little Berserker Spawn, what color are Mommy's eyes?
Little Berserker Spawn: Blue! (emphatically)
Beautiful Wife: What color are Daddy's eyes?
LBS: Green!
BF: What color are LBS's eyes?
LBS: Green!  Like Daddy's.
BF: What color are Sweet Little Hellion's eyes?
LBS: Blue, like Mommy's!
**Now I decide to switch it up on him and ask him something completely new**
BF: What color is Mommy's hair?
LBS: I don't know...
BF: Is it black?
LBS: Black??? Noooooooo!
BF: Is it brown?
LBS: (Thinking) No?...?
BF: Is it red?
LBS: (thinking)... Yes.
**Lots of praise from proud parents** (we are so lame, I practically force fed him the answer... ah parental affection)
BW: What color is Daddy's hair?
without missing a beat he turns, looks at me and says emphatically:
Sweet Little Hellion: (who has been smearing potatoes all over her face and in her hair, not wanting to miss out on a good laugh decides to join in on the fun) HAHAHAHHA! (a forced little laugh in her evil little voice).

**I have this dumbfounded, disbelieving look on my face.  My mouth is hanging open, as I look at my first born son**

LBS: You have gray hair Daddy (he says all matter-of-fact-ly)
BF: LBS, I do not.  I have dark blond hair.  Almost brown.
BW: (Still laughing, probably about to pee herself)
LBS: Blond, whats blond? No Daddy, you have gray hair.
BF: (under breath) OH MY ******* GOD!

Scene ends with BW coming out of her laughing fit to help explain blond hair to the traitor son of mine.  GRAY HAIR?!?!?!?! Are you kidding me?  I don't have a gray hair on my head.  WHAT THE HELL?  He doesn't even know the color gray.  Anything that is gray he calls black.  I am still not pleased with this whole episode.  But I know it is quite funny.  All I have to say is: BERSERKER RAGE!


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