Daycare Birthday Party Rant

I need to rant.  I have 2 kids in daycare, both of which will each have their birthday in the next few weeks.  Seems fun right?  Not at this daycare.

Why?

Because the parents there have started what can only be described as the stupidest tradition ever. 

The child with the birthday (aka the birthday boy or girl) brings stupid little gifts for all the other kids...

HATE AND DISCONTENT!

How f*&^%$&* stupid is that?  They bring little, idiotic goody bags filled with stupid crap and candy.  Then they give them to  all the other kids... WTF?  Who's birthday is this?

And when you ask, well do they bring presents for the birthday kid.  The answer is NO!

BERSERKER RAGE!

Yes, they still bring cake and all the kids sing happy birthday and then they all eat cake. 

WHY THE HELL DOES THE BIRTHDAY KID BRING GIFTS FOR ALL THE OTHER KIDS?

I know Beautiful Wife is going to fight me on this one, but I am not contributing to this insanity.  It is out of control and it stops with me.  I am not spending my time (or hell, even the money) putting together goody bags for all the other kids in the class for my kid's birthday. 

I will bring in a cake or cupcakes.  They can get all sugared up and then go home with their parents.  But I am not sending them home with more candy and gifts. 

On your birthday, you are the person who is supposed to feel special.  It is your one day out of the year.

RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Daycare birthday parties rant over!

The Federal Budget, NASA and Science Funding

Space Shuttle Discovery, STS-51

NASA has been spared major cuts in the federal budget for 2011.

This means NASA can continue to develop a heavy lift rocket, which they desperately need, since after the shuttle program is retired there will be no native US technology for getting people or cargo to the International Space Station (ISS).

In the 2011 federal budget, NASA was given a budget of $18.5 billion.  Seems like a lot, right?  Well let us really break it down compared to the total US budget and some other federal agencies.

Total Budget: $3.69 trillion or $3,690 billion

NASA:               $18.5 billion (0.5% of total budget)
Defense              $738 billion (20% of total budget)
Social Security    $738 billion (20% of total budget)
Health Services   $381 billion (10.3% of total budget)

So, in comparison, NASA's budget is only one half of a percent of the federal budget.  Not even a drop in the bucket.

Overall, the 2011 budget was very kind to science.  The National Institute of Health saw a budget increase of about 3%.  The National Science Foundation saw an 8% increase.  The Department of Energy science programs saw a 4.5% increase.  Note, all these increases are relative to 2010.

I was very pleasantly surprised.

Links for data on the budget:
I took numbers from this NY Times graph. And the Washington Post also has a nice graphic.
Note: There are differences between how NYT and WP define different spending programs.  It is hard to reconcile the two.

Haiku Monday- Cabin Fever and Taxes

Cabin Fever

Crazy children laugh

Maniacally jump around

Berserk Dad explodes

Taxes

Stupid taxes die

In debt to my eyeballs sucks

Uncle Sam licks butts

Haiku Monday - Federal budget and general malcontent

Budget Cuts

Federal Budget

Can't work, no research, no pay

Politicians Suck


My Office

No windows, no sun
Has the world ended, who knows
Not me, no windows

ELLLLMMMOOOO!

Picture from Wikipedia.  Author David Shankbone.

I was starting to despair a little, when after this weekend my kids didn't say any really weird things.  Last night, however, they came through with flying colors!

Scene: Beautiful Wife and I were sitting on the couch reading after dinner, waiting for the magic 7pm when we let the kids watch one cartoon before bed.  Against the side of our couch is bank of bins filled with the kids' toys.  Since Sweet Little Hellion (my 1 year old daughter) is not tall enough to reach the top bins, she likes to try to climb onto the back of the couch to reach toys.

"AHEM, little girl, what do you think you are doing up there?" BW says in her 'your in trouble kid' voice.

SLH turns to her, balancing precariously on the arm of the couch, and says "ELLLLLLL MOOOOOOO!" In a tone that just screams I told you this a thousand times Mom, so back off! 

She is 1... ONE!*

Attitude...  I am not looking forward to the teenage years if this is the precursor.

Then she grabs her little Elmo doll and scampers down to play with it.

Not to be outdone by his sister, Little Berserker Spawn decides to get in on the action

LBS and BW are talking after Dora is all done with.  He just randomly blurts out "You're funny looking Mommy!" in this sweet, little adorable tone.  "BWAHAHAHAHA!" I blurt out pointing at her.  Murder-Death-Kill gaze falls on me from BW.  I don't care.  It was cosmic retribution for the hair color incident.

LBW looks at me, confused (he is only 3) and laughs a little, pretending he gets the joke.  BW says, offended, "LBS that was not very nice." LBS saunters over and gives her a big hug.  He says, "It's ok mommy, your pretty too!"

HAHAHA!  So, funny!


*Well, she will be 2 next month, but still!

Major Discovery at CERN!

The Hugs has been found, the Hugs has been found!  The Hugs Boson has been discovered at CERN!  It is a very snuggle particle!

Sorry all you poor particle physicists, you have been looking in the wrong spot all along.  So sorry!  Have a hug instead?!?!

Geek humor, gotta love it!